[Meet the new boss]
As I have come to understand it, start time here is no later than 9:00 am. That does not mean 9:10 or 9:22. I have mandated to the QA Leads and Supervisor that they closely monitor this and to let me know of those that do not adhere to this already established policy.

Also, for those of you that turn in your time sheets regularly in order to get your paycheck, I have instructed Debra Montgomery to stop her extended follow up efforts to make sure you get them in on time. Were all big boys and girls here and the bottom line is that if you want to get paid, you need to be completely responsible for getting your hours in at the specified time. She does not have the time to mother anyone anymore. So, the rule going forward is, simply, if you don't get your hours in at your specified time, you don't get a paycheck. The hours will then be added to the NEXT pay period. Please contact Debra if you have any question on the correct time to submit your hours.

Thank you VERY much for your cooperation on both of these matters.

And, as always, feel free to talk to me for any and all questions.

Steven Winter

QA Manager - Books
Leapfrog Enterprises, Inc.
6401 Hollis Street, Suite 150
Emeryville, CA 94608
510-596-3371

- posted by Turok @ 4:17 PM

 
[How to kill yourself at home!]
So i took friday off. one of those sanity day things. it didn't
work out so well.

I got up in the moring, bought some tea, and started checking my
email. and of course generally fooling around on the internet,
like we do.

I decide to *make* some tea, my strategy was to leave all
the beer bottles and 6-pack cartons, some old napkins, and
other paper product on the stove while doing this.

I had it all worked out (half asleep, but still *bright* you
know?). i clear a spot for "jester", my favortive of the
4 electric burners on the stove.

Fill the kettle, put it on jester, and fire that puppy up!
go back to reading email.

Next thing you know: BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

My smoke alarm goes off. i am only about 5 feet from the stove
but i was still shocked and thought: wtf?

Turn around and *almost* immediately find the culpret.

About two feet of flame shooting up off the survace of the
stove. hrm...that must be where the smoke is coming from.

So i go over to investigate, and sure enough i can just make
out through the flames that "Jester" is not even on. It's
his big brother "James" under a pile of flammables that got
all the heat.

(BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP is still happening of course,
and i found it really hard to concentrate on the task at hand
with all that damn noise)

So for a couple of moments I torn between the fire and the
noise. Which is worse? Really? are you sure? I CAN"T THINK!

Somehow, miraculously, my "training" took over. It was like
some kind of out-of-body experience, like "I" was watching
the whole scene from somewhere else.

I saw myself Heroically blowing out the wandering flames. trying
i should say. you think you got one side out, and move to the
other, and the fire picks back up where you just were!

So I saw myself frantically jumping back and forth huffing and
puffing like the big-bad wolf. and i thought that maybe "heroic"
was not the word i was looking for.

Then i thought: hey man what the fuck were you thinking?
interrupted of course by:
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

That's when I totally lost it. no perspective, no thought.
Panic. there was nothing else.

I just stood there in that out-of-body self-dissapointment
that you can only get from watching you burn your own home
to the ground.

I saw myself start ripping off my own clothing in an attempt
to stifle the flames.
My favorite "hoodie" was used to beat at the flames (and knock
burning objects onto the floor). I call this "spreading the
fire."

I watched helpless as i abandoned the well-loved hoodie to
the fire and ran out of the apartment.

I hoped i was going for a fire extinguisher.
I do remember the thought "time for the big gun!"
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Christ and the neighbors are now in the hallway.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

So the fire extinguisher is in one of those "in case of emergency
break glass" boxes.

Break glass? ok ok. with *what*??????
there's nothing to break the glass with!
(I have scars that said "don't use your hand...again")

Back into the apartment now to find somthing to break the glass
with, to get the fire extinguisher, to put out the fire.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

At this point my out-of-body self just closed his eyes in
shame, and i was left helplessly alone.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Fuck! what should you use to break the glass with? I know
there's a hammer here...but shit! it's in the drawer near
the stove the fire is too much to get near.

Ok, no hammer... then i see the afgan comforter. A blanket of course!
that'll put that suckah out!
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

So the blanket goes on the stove. Poof! the fire gets extinguished.
Well, actually the blanket caugt on fire too, but I had enough
time to start throwing glasses of water on it.

Fire out. Apartment filled with smoke.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Ok, open a window and ask what you have done while you
furiously fan the smoke detector at close range.
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Look at the afgan your very own mother made with her two hands,
the very one you just used to put out a fire.
feel the shame.

Yes, you go touch it in an attempt to convince yourself that
it's not that bad. but it was nylon and has just melted to
all that burning crap on the stove and you know there is no
going back.

Realize that taking the a day off from work is a huge mistake.
Acknowledge that you need to work to keep you from killing
yourself; regardless of how you feel.

Vow to go to work on Monday. Tell no one what happened.
- posted by Turok @ 12:11 PM