[The 1st 24 Hours is the Hardest]

Yesterday i took an exceptionally long lunch. one the way back i saw a sign in a windo that read "Art Supplies!" so i stopped in.

Amazing. it was the weirdest store i have ever been. i couldn't believe it. everywhere you turn was amazement. boxes and boxes of complete and utter garbage. *real* garbage. i couldn't help it, i went through every isle and every row. it was amazing.

One isle had a huge box of...broken glass. yes, colored glass shards. not even big pieces.
a box of broken glass.

There was one shelf that contained only EMPTY vitamin bottles, like hundreds of them! amazing!
Another had a box of painted black dowel rods, 19" long, about 200 of them.

Did i mention the shoe boxes? No? oh, that's because they were *sold out* according to the conversation between the lady customer and the clerk. yep, all sold out of shoe boxes. i wanted to comfort the woman and tell her that i had some at home.

It was great! boxes and boxes of used pens, leaking and dying. tiny pieces of cardboard and a couple of scraps of construction paper. not one full sheet. not a one.

I stoped and went through a huge bin of camera bodies. these looked like they had been run over by the Cleveland Wrecking Co. or been exploded from within. just a huge bin FULL of seriously exploded old 35mm cameras. i just kept asking myself: what is this doing here?

Oh and a wheel-bin full of babydoll arms and legs. you know the laundry bins on wheels that they always have in prison movies? one of those. filled up with babydoll arms and legs. some white, alot brown. i wanted to crawl into the bin and just lay down with the arms and legs.

So this "store" "sold" "stuff" that virtually any human would have thrown in the trash. this stuff was literally not even good enough for a garage sale. in fact i saw the guys running the place get all excited over an object whose only claim to fame was that it was complete or not smashed or something.

This place was like a way station for the dump. hey, we know it's trash, but we can sell it *one more time* before it gets thrown away for ever! what? like they think they are keeping this stuff out of the dump? hah. think again. i even bought some stuff, then threw it away immediately. right into the
trash outside the door.

Well, there was more stuff there, but i have to go now. maybe i'll add some wonderful garbage later.

So, no one has gotten requests in for the Public Apology Week.

Maybe no one is reading the blogs anymore. maybe no one feels they need an apology?
- posted by Turok @ 11:01 AM

 
[Naked baseball]
Well, having finally talked with anna after what seems like months of messages back
and forth, I have this to say: see ? there really was low interest in this years world
series (tm. no part of the World Series, its affiliates, trademarks, images, icons, general shapes, coverage of, likeness to, and hinting at may be reproduced without expressed written consent from Major Leagues Baseball inc.)

But personally i think that people are just kinda bored with everything, baseball included. that's why the MLB strike threat. boredom. and the west coast longshoreman (er, -people)
(longshorefolk?) (longshorepeeps?) again: bored. sucking up the nations soul.

Hey, let's break up the boredom with a little war! now yer talking! i was thinking of that myself. start a little war right here in the office. kind of a "unilateral" thing really. well now don't take me seriously, just a little 'secret life of rambo mitty' day dreaming.

You can only obsess about motorcycles so much before....ok. that's it. this is boring
me too.

Hey! Next week is apology week!

I will be issuing public apologies, so get your orders in NOW!

- posted by Turok @ 2:34 PM

 
[Naked Bob]
Hey, check out this really great link i found:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/recap?gameId=221017003

It's this hillarious story about Bob. err, I mean a story that Bob wishes was about him, seeing
as it involves two of his passions: Hockey and Streaking.

Too bad we have never gotten it together to get bob down to the Shark Tank for a game, get
him all liquored up, strip him naked and set *him* loose on the ice.

Though to be fair, i think that bob would fare much better than our friend in the above story.
I think bob would be able to figure out the following:
1. Ice is very slippery
2. Socks do not have good traction
3. Ice is hard against your head.



For more information on this hi-larious subject, please visit our sponsors at:
streaking.org


- posted by Turok @ 3:36 PM

 
[Jesus-freak posse]

So I'm coming out of work. Had a bad day at the new job.
"commnunication issues." being shut out. argh.

Leave the building, fire up the bike and get the hell out of
there.

Stewing I as approach the light. traffic keeps me back.
on the corner I see a man holding a sign that is neck to kneees.
"Honk if you Love Jesus." no kidding that is what it actually
said.

Without any conscious thought whatsoever on my part, i ride
up the handicap ramp and come screaming down the sidewalk
bypassing all the traffic, headed right for sign-man.
Honking all the while. revving the motor and generally making
a rucus.

As I race toward him, he jumps to the side losing his sign
and screams, he does: FUCK YOU! and adamantly flips me the bird.

Suddenly all the other motorists start honking too.
guess we're all just a bunch of jesus freaks.
- posted by Turok @ 8:42 AM

 
[Letter]

so. sorry for just sending links your way, but
maybe you can tell that i am really itching
to get away for a while on the back of something.
coming close to snow time in the mountains, and
it freaks me out to think that i have not even
taken a short weekender up into them this year.


Of couse having the Transalp be all fucked up
does not help either. I can't remember why
i even kept it after the theft. Oh, it was
free i guess.

But it wobbles at speeds over 50 mph, a generally
unsafe condition.
I am beginning to address the problem, but the
truth is that mentally it was kind of killing me.
Did I tell you that the 750 does the same thing?

Yes, I am the proud owner of 2 bikes that wobble
at speed. I am truly cursed. Or destined to
learn something. you pick.

I am constantly in this fluctuation between
giving the bike away and buying a new one, and
fixing it because it seems so important to do.
that the bike is good, and worth saving.

I literally change my mind hourly. Seems such
a waste to blow big money on a new(er) bike.
Then again it seems so obviously easy, simple
even.

And the job. God that is dragging along. Maybe
the lack of urgency there is causing me to obsess
again. Slow starting and feeling shut out. cut
off. won't tell you.

We'll I'll stay cause they send me money.

Money i can use to buy a new TV, a TV pacify an
uneasy mind and that will advertise stuff to me,
stuff that I can buy with money from my job.

- posted by Turok @ 4:51 PM

 
[Would You Like To Love My Dolphin]

Ok I have removed the text. Getting too many complaints. I you wanna read go ahead. It's worth it. I promise.
- posted by Turok @ 4:39 PM

 
[Hear of a Monster]

Ok, I have removed the full text of this amazing story and put it somewhere that you might think more appropriate.
- posted by Turok @ 3:51 PM